Awareness…

Feeling uneasy; nothing wrong has happened but yes, I am disturbed. I can sense that, I am restless and it feels like I am going to explode. Eyes are about to water…why am I not crying then…? Breaths are heavy… I am actually exhausted. 

I do not understand why it is happening. I want to know. Rational self is searching answers but somewhere down, I do not wish to know. Something is preventing me. Some unknown force in my mind stops me instinctively. I shy away from the truth.

‘Impossible’.

Why will I fend off the truth? The harsh truth is always better than a sugar coated lie. I weigh this statement but I am still unaware as what is stopping me. I go on thinking to the extent of saturation. “Why cannot I understand?” I keep asking myself, day in and day out. I have gone crazy; I might just blow up now. ‘Wh-‘questions never seem to end; answers seem unreachable. Brain promises to search harder tomorrow. Mind believes that it has happened for the best. Mind and Brain, both try calming the uneasy Heart with every half-truth they know… Alas! I don’t understand…the frenzy begins…!!

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