In my retreat

Last couple of weeks alone in the hostel have taught me so much. They came as a curse and left as a blessing. I have grown up so much in these few weeks. Honesty, earlier I did think of them as eternal damnation. I wanted to go home, so desperately. I wanted to spend time with people I love. Things are worsening, I thought. Everything I do goes for a toss, the belief strengthened. I wondered if it would make me a cynic.

Cynicism has always fascinated me. The feeling of such intense distrust regarding everything has never failed to surprise me. I know I am not a cynic. I can never be. I do not really understand why people are so mistrustful. Bad experiences…broken relations…things spiralling out of control? All these things happen in everyone’s life. It is how it is supposed to be. Things change, you change. Life goes on. Friendships, broken relations hurt but time does manage to soothe the wound. You learn to live with them rather without them. What you had was true for that period. Just because it is not there now does not mean it never existed or that nothing of that sort exists. Not everyone is going to do that to you. You should give them a chance to prove themselves. If you do not do that, you do not have the reason to be so sure that people are not good…good enough to be trusted!!

Yes, I believe in all of it. I believe that people are good at heart. I believe that people generally will not flag down the trust of people, at least not without feeling guilty themselves. I also believe that there is always someone there, who genuinely cares. You will always be given help, when you ask for it. If you gather every ounce of courage you have to look around for help, you will always find someone who is there to help you out.

Because I have been there, without hope, with my head in my hands..!!



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