I wrote this when I was 15. The first ever piece I wrote in English. I want to change so many things…change the way I have phrased things. This one reminds me of how far I have come. 🙂
When I was younger, I always used to be scared of darkness; I remember chanting ‘Ramraksha’ (the sacred mantra ) all the way into the darkness. I used to hold onto dad’s hand tightly or make sure that I am not all alone on that affright road. That time, in my childhood, darkness was bad, disliked it. Literally, cursed it as it made me come home early, leaving my play aside. In short, I hated it.
Oh, yes, ‘hated’…. Right, because now as I am growing up, suddenly I find darkness strangely attractive, the fear is long gone. I now prefer night over day… daylight that provided me with security now seems rudely exposing. Daylight, once thought as the propagator of morality now reminds of the need to pretend, the need to live according to the rules of society, the need to mar our own nature to be accepted…Daylight now seems an epitome of sophistry.
And then when it becomes too much on my conscience, I find myself looking for darkness, looking for a place where I will see myself as me and not in respect with anyone or anything. Then, I move ahead and switch off the light or simply, go out in the dark and sit there silently, staring at stars and wondering about ‘n’ number of things.
Then, to my surprise, I meet a strange but nice, warm feeling of security. I can feel the freedom. I experience that oneness with the rest of the world. Deep in gratitude, I thank darkness for all this, for letting me be me…and then deep in thought I realise that the realm of darkness is just as beautiful as I imagine it to be…!!