Chaos! Overthinking: Demo No. 1

“Overthinking again?” I heard a friend ask in exasperation. As I ranted on my observations regarding some minute thing, which did not need that much of a thought, my friend concluded. Not her fault though. I have heard that one on multiple occasions by a multitude of people. They have always thought that they are helping me and I am not questioning their motives. I just thinking that overthinking means a lot more than simply thinking till you cannot anymore. It is not under my control! Overthinking is a lot more than that… yes, take it from someone is a certified over thinker.

Overthinking means thinking over something again and again to get a perspective on the situation. By definition, it ensues repetition which could be a source of stress for everyone involved in the process, the thinker and the listener. I also tell you that it is a million times worse for the thinker. I was recently reading an article on hassles that only people who overthink will understand…and I understood that part very well. 

Something that it said is just stuck in my head. “You cannot let anything go, because you’re convinced that if you just run over the details a few more times, you’ll finally uncover some new understanding of the situation or it will somehow change the outcome.” This touched a raw nerve. There is no better way to put it. I want closure, I like things figured out, simple, straightforward at the least… I want to know why…Well, life doesn’t care about what I think I want… it just gives me what I need. Life doesn’t explain everything. Hence, I keep looking for the linchpin, the trigger…just keep digging…the frenzy begins!!

The next one was stellar. “You are known to regret texts, hesitate over writing emails, delete and re-write tweets, all because you could and should have said something other than what you did and will.” This quote can sum up my entire life. I have a tendency to overthink everything I do ( as witnessed by you while reading!) and as I overanalyse everything…I ultimately end up thinking if things would have changed, outcomes altered, aftermath a little less disastrous if I had conveyed my point a bit differently… a trap I end up setting for myself. I don’t enjoy any of it. I would to love to let go…to lose control for once…to not think so much…to accept that you don’t have to know the reasons behind everything and that it is best that some questions remain unanswered. ( well, if I mail this article to you, know that I have spent some 10 minutes deciding if I should send it to you… if that’s okay…if I am annoying you…and I have sent it anyway! Deliberate spontaneity)

As I have mentioned before, a single thought…mixed with paranoia, most of which comes from having my facts ready…borderline insecurity…obsession to think and compulsion to write… and narcissism to make others read…has led to this over-analysed write up!

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